dita+essay+feedback

DIta due to time constraints I will only look at one of your essay paragraphs and help you with your PPES. Lets look at your first and last PPE in this paragraph:

//Both Jake and Atticus play as the lawyer in the movie and the novel respectively. Atticus Finch is a major character from __ To Kill a Mockingbird __ by Harper Lee. These two characters have several similarities. They have the feeling of empathy toward colored-man. They defend a colored man with all of their effort. :”I’m simply defending a Negro-his name’s Tom Robinson. He lives in that little settlement beyond the town dump. He’s a member of Calipurna’s church, and Cal knows his family well. She says they’re clean-living folks. ....” (Lee, 100). This quote proves that Atticus has a feeling of empathy to every people without looking at their social class, occupation, family background, and so on. Eventhough there are a lot of people against him, he still wants to fight for the people who needed his help. This is also an evidence that verifies Atticus as a person who is not a racial bigot. He has the courage to become a positive role model who will stand up for anyone even if they had been exposed as a person with a lower social class. Analogous to Atticus, Jake has the same mind-set and took the same actions to help the defendant. : ”The main one is, if I didn’t I couldn’t hold up my head in town, I couldn’t represent this county in the legislature, I couldn’t even tell you or Jem not to do something again.” (Lee, 100). That quote shows that Atticus, as a lawyer, is a responsible man. He knows that Tom Robinson is blameless, so he tries his best to carry out his duty to defend him. Altough he has to go through many obstacles, he decides to stand up for a justice. In this situation, both of them are very much alike. Even though Jake gets countless trouble, he still tries to obtain fairness for his defendant. Jake and Atticus also have the same basic problem that came up when they were in process of trial. :“To begin with, this case should never have come to trial. This case is as simple as black and white.” (Lee, 271). : ”... I am confident that you gentlemen will review with passion the evidence you have heard, come to a decision, and restore this defendant to his family...” (Lee, 275). As well as Jake, Atticus meet up with the same mentality of people who opposed to him. All of them were racist. Atticus realize that people’s racism lead people’s temprament, as a consequence the case is getting misserable. Atticus uses the feeling of empathy in his testimony to desmonstrate other people not to be racist. He plead for people to put themselves in other’s people condition, so that other people and jury can judge the case wisely.//

Your first point/proof is great. For your explain I will say the same thing I told you last week: look closely at the quote. "//Cal knows his family well." "////they’re clean-living folks"// these are two things you HAVE TO explain because they are important to prove Atticus is being objective. Your explain completely ignores them but they are the PROOF that connect to your thesis. In fact when you say "T//his quote proves that Atticus has a feeling of empathy to every people without looking at their social class, occupation, family background,"// YOU ARE WRONG because he is very much looking at their family background. It says so in your quote! WHy can he do this without being subjective? ALL OF YOUR EXPLAINS SHOULD MENTION EMOTION and/or OBJECTIVITY.

Your last PPE here has an obvious problem: you have two proofs. Pick the best one so you can look at it closely. Also, again your explain does not match up with your quote. Where is Atticus using empathy in this quotation? Your explain actually needs to look at what he is saying.


 * Level 3/3-**