Alex+Essay+Feedback

Great work Alex! Your attention grabber is clear and strong. You connection works very well though this sentence is unclear "... died but she died in her biggest pride – the pride of being a virtual woman. " What do you mean by virtual woman? Is she online? Your thesis is also strong, but make sure that it flows out from your connection. Your thesis makes it sound so easy to turn shame into pride, but in fact this is one of the hardest things in life (as our connection shows). It is hard to admit we are wrong. Why?


 * Level 3+/4-**