Christy+Essay+Feedback

Christy this is an amazing start to your essay! You pose some very interesting questions. Your attention grabber and connection and thesis all flow very well from one into the next. The only thing I would work on to get to Level 4 is having an even stronger thesis. Your main idea is that the power of language of language allows us to overcome prejudice and connects us all. That is a fascinating idea! Instead of defining language (we all know what it is) use your movie example to show one way HOW language helped them overcome the unwritten code in their society. That way your thesis can show WHY language has this amazing power.


 * Level 3+**