Lynn+Essay+Feedback

Lynn, this is a good start to your essay. You have a very interesting attention grabber. The first sentence is great, but then you loose me in the next few sentences. Rather than talk about imagination, focus on **fragility** and **choice**. Can you choose who you are? Should you feel shame for being a woman? I think these two ideas are best suited for your connection as well. You summarize Currie's life well but bring it back to your idea. Was she fragile? What choices was she able to make and what was out of her control? Forget about TKMB, you can discuss Ms Dubouse in the Body Paragraphs. Instead loko at those questions and see if they can lead you to a thesis about where pride can come from for women. What does it have to do with the choices we make. Because right now your thesis is very weak.


 * Level 2**