Song+Essay+Feedback

Song your AG is plagiarized from wikipedia and so it this paragraph would automatically receive a mark of zero. Be very careful with copy from websites! Use your own words, what does pride mean to you? I would find that much more interesting then this boring definition. The rest of your paragraph is a good start but it needs much more work. From what I can see here I do not think it is wise for you to focus on women or Time to Kill. Your example is wrong, Jake's wife does not help him in the trial at all. Instead of looking at this example, forget women, and just focus on Jake himself. Was he proud of the work he did? Why? Was he ever too proud? Where does true pride come from, how is he able to feel true pride in the end? What are the things we should feel most proud of? These are some things that would give you a much stronger thesis.


 * Level 1 (Level R with plagiarism)**