Maggie+Essay+Feedback

Great work Maggie! This is a good paragraph! It would be even stronger if you used shorter, clearer sentences. Fro example this sentence: " The girl, Briony Tallis, a successful English girl with a talent for writing and also imagination, accuses her sister's lover Robbie who is innocent, and identifies him to the police as the rapist who raped her cousin." SHould be at least 2 or three small sentences:

"The narrator of the book is a young girl, Briony Tallis. She has a talent for writing and also imagination. She accuses her sister's lover Robbie of rape even thought he is innocent."

The same problem holds down your thesis. It should be a t least two sentences. One first about lying. Then a second about how empathy helps us understand the consequences of our actions from a new perspective. And then one last sentence saying how this new perspective can stop us from doing things that would help us but hurt others.


 * Level 4-**