Gigi+Essay+Feedback

Gigi you are off to a good start. Your attention grabber is clear and strong. Your connection though is unfocused. You start by talking about the song but then you switch to text to self examples from your life. Look closer at the song, what problems does it show? The problem is that your thesis is to simple: all you need is love. Should I love everyone? Should I love the person who kills my family? What about the person who cuts me off on the highway? What about someone who smells funny? Your thesis is black and white, we should love more hate less, but reality if gray. How do we love more? How do not fall victim to the hate that is so easy?

These are hard questions so I'll give you some help. Love, true love and understanding, is not as easy as you say. It is much actually easier to hate. WHY?


 * Level 2+**